Twas The Night Before Christmas (Horror Version).
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
(Horror Version)
By David Harlow
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
There were plenty of victims who’d die by my hand
I had sharpened my knives with such great care
pulled up my hood and tucked back my hair
My victims were nestled all snug in their beds
Just waiting for me to come bash in their heads
With mother in her jammies and dad in his drawers
I entered their room quietly then crept on all fours
When all of the sudden there arose such a clatter
I slashed through them both and watched the blood splatter
Away to the window I threw open the curtain
There’s no way I’d be caught, of that I was certain
When, what to my evil eyes should appear
Holy shit, the cops, I must leave from here
The police pulled up, guns drawn and ready
They took aim at the window, slow and steady
Faster than a gazelle, I leapt out of the way
This wouldn’t be the end to my perfect day
The man cried out “Put your hands up and come on outside
There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to hide”
Out through the door I sprinted down the hall
“What the fuck.” I thought “That was a close call.”
I ran down the stairs and escaped through the back
Went ‘round to the front and launched an attack
I smacked the cop in the face and made him squeal
A quick stab to the gut had sealed the deal
He fell to his knees then cried out in pain
With a twisted grin, I stabbed him again
He writhed and moaned like a two dollar whore
I wasn’t done yet, there was lots more in store
Cradling his head in my hand I gouged out his eyes
Then a noise from the roof caught me by surprise
As I looked to the sky a strange vision appeared
A man dressed in black with a scraggly old beard
He was at least 7 feet tall with a sinister sneer
And a big fat gut, hands clutching on to a beer
He looked down to me and said with a grin
“Go ahead my child, unleash the evil within.”
I grasped the blade firmly then jabbed into the cop
I had come this far, there’s no reason to stop
The surge of adrenaline flowed through my veins
Slammed the cop to the ground then stomped out his brains
This fight was over but I still wasn’t done
I had more houses to visit, man this shit’s fun
Peering up at the rooftop I looked to my friend
Asked him loudly “Do you have a message to send?”
He looked down from the roof and in a calm soothing voice
“You’ll do just fine my son, you’ve made the right choice”
I stood there in awe, at the dark vision before me
I had just unleashed hell, I had to agree
With a wink of his eye and a nod from his head
I knew then and there I had nothing to dread
He spoke no more words but his actions were loud
He lifted his arms up then ascended to the clouds
As I stepped from the street and onto the grass
I heard him exclaim....
“MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FUCKS, YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ASS”
(Horror Version)
By David Harlow
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
There were plenty of victims who’d die by my hand
I had sharpened my knives with such great care
pulled up my hood and tucked back my hair
My victims were nestled all snug in their beds
Just waiting for me to come bash in their heads
With mother in her jammies and dad in his drawers
I entered their room quietly then crept on all fours
When all of the sudden there arose such a clatter
I slashed through them both and watched the blood splatter
Away to the window I threw open the curtain
There’s no way I’d be caught, of that I was certain
When, what to my evil eyes should appear
Holy shit, the cops, I must leave from here
The police pulled up, guns drawn and ready
They took aim at the window, slow and steady
Faster than a gazelle, I leapt out of the way
This wouldn’t be the end to my perfect day
The man cried out “Put your hands up and come on outside
There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to hide”
Out through the door I sprinted down the hall
“What the fuck.” I thought “That was a close call.”
I ran down the stairs and escaped through the back
Went ‘round to the front and launched an attack
I smacked the cop in the face and made him squeal
A quick stab to the gut had sealed the deal
He fell to his knees then cried out in pain
With a twisted grin, I stabbed him again
He writhed and moaned like a two dollar whore
I wasn’t done yet, there was lots more in store
Cradling his head in my hand I gouged out his eyes
Then a noise from the roof caught me by surprise
As I looked to the sky a strange vision appeared
A man dressed in black with a scraggly old beard
He was at least 7 feet tall with a sinister sneer
And a big fat gut, hands clutching on to a beer
He looked down to me and said with a grin
“Go ahead my child, unleash the evil within.”
I grasped the blade firmly then jabbed into the cop
I had come this far, there’s no reason to stop
The surge of adrenaline flowed through my veins
Slammed the cop to the ground then stomped out his brains
This fight was over but I still wasn’t done
I had more houses to visit, man this shit’s fun
Peering up at the rooftop I looked to my friend
Asked him loudly “Do you have a message to send?”
He looked down from the roof and in a calm soothing voice
“You’ll do just fine my son, you’ve made the right choice”
I stood there in awe, at the dark vision before me
I had just unleashed hell, I had to agree
With a wink of his eye and a nod from his head
I knew then and there I had nothing to dread
He spoke no more words but his actions were loud
He lifted his arms up then ascended to the clouds
As I stepped from the street and onto the grass
I heard him exclaim....
“MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FUCKS, YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ASS”